Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Secret of Attractive People

Secret of Attractive People -

Ways to keep your confidence up and be very attractive.

Attractive Dress: Confidence is what creates the magic in any attractive and influential person. It transforms people, turning Average Joe into Hot Harry. Everyone has talents and capabilities, but it’s confidence that pushes you to make use of them.

Whether you’re in a job interview or on a first date, coming off as confident has a two-fold effect: it wins you an automatic level of respect and convinces people to take you seriously, and it boosts your self-esteem, which may push you to do more or achieve more. Confidence helps you to be happy with yourself, and when you’re happy with with yourself, you create the power to do things and live the life you want.

Confident people: Use body language well

Body Language: Your posture and actions can send messages, which you may or may not intend. It can also pull your self-image up or down. Send the right message by:
  •     *Standing up straight . The basic rule. Standing straight and square can help in lifting your overall confidence.
  •     * Looking people in the eye. This conveys sincerity, and when people feel you are sincere, they listen. Do not look away. It will show that you’re nervous. It might also make people think you’re disinterested, or worse, lying. Nodding every once in a while when talking to someone assures them that you’re listening.
  •     * Walking like you mean it. Spine straight, shoulders back, chin up. One foot in front of the other.
  •     * Assuming the “power stance.” This technique is very helpful when in front of an audience. Stand with feet a little less than shoulder-length apart, and place one foot very slightly behind the other. Shift your weight so that it falls on this foot. This allows your body to “open up” and “reach” more of your audience. It’s also a less uptight position, and helps your body relax and feel more comfortable.
  •     * Don’t fidget . Fidgeting is a classic symptom of insecurity. When speaking, avoid too many hand gestures, which can be distracting. Having a prop helps, but it shouldn’t be an excuse to hide behind it. If you’re standing behind a table or a podium, you can rest your hand on it.
  •     * Trying not to cross your arms . That says “Go away.” It can also mean, “I am boring and have no social skills.”
  •     * “Shrinking” a little when dealing with authority . It is possible to come off as over-confident, which you never want to do. Tempering your stance is a way of showing respect. Confidence can be interpreted as arrogance when you try too hard, like talk too loud or put your head up to high.
  •     * Smiling . Period.

Talk the Talk:
Speaking well helps get your point across faster and more smoothly. People take you more seriously. They form impressions of respect and really pay attention. You can also get away with so much more stuff when you speak well.

14tlkpz Secret of Attractive People
  •     * Avoid “speech crutches.” These are certain words that you repeat when you speak: the ‘umms,’ the ‘uhhs,’ the ‘you knows’. These signify that you’re at a loss for words, and may lessen your credibility. A conscious effort must be made to avoid these words. Some people actually like it. They think it’s cute. Even god speakers fall into the trap of saying them sometimes, but once you’re aware that you shouldn’t be saying them, it’s easier to overcome them.
  •     * Remember that sounding good and speaking well are two different things. Sounding good can be associated with certain twangs. DJ’s for example, have these twangs that sound good on air. But it’s not the same as speaking well. Speaking well requires having substance to what you say.
  •     * Go over what you’re going to say before you say it. If you’re giving a report or delivering a speech, prepare an outline or use cue words. You can look as confident as you can, but if you’re not prepared, everything will fall apart.
  •     * Practice. Read out loud, practice in front of a mirror, or even try recording yourself.

Dress for success: Looking good outside helps you feel great inside
How you look can help lift you up, make you feel good about yourself. Beauty is all about attitude adjustment. For everything you don’t like about yourself, come up with something you do. Accentuate the positive. Find Beauty in flaws. Find clothes that fit well.

Dress: Get involved: Find something you’re good at and love to do
Finding something you excel in brings confirmation and appreciation. Look for something you’re comfortable with and capable of, and capitalizing on that. Figuring out what you do best is one of the first steps to building confidence. You can’t work on a machine without knowing what it does. But you have to be ready to go through a series of trials and errors, and on the way to the answer, you might serendipitously discover something fantastic.
  • Surround yourself with positive people: They will pick you up when you stumble
  • Surround yourself with good people whose opinions you respect, whom you can ask for good advice when you’re unsure of yourself. Find a mentor or a support system for encouragement.

Love yourself:
At the end of the day, tips and affirmation from everyone else can only get you so far. Confidence, is knowing who you are without getting validation from everyone else. You can have complete confidence in yourself without anyone knowing about it. Don’t be too concerned with what others think of you. Don’t try to please them too much. Accepting oneself is the first step to taking on any challenge.
Nobody can put the self in self-confidence but you.

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